MacLean, Gerald, editor. The Return of the King : An Anthology of English Poems Commemorating the Restoration of Charles II / edited by Gerald MacLean
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John Crouch A Mixt Poem
[after July]

   The copytext (L=11626.c.5) includes a frontispiece portrait of Charles by A. Hertochs.

    A Mixt Poem was printed twice during 1660 and again, in variant form, under the title "A Poem Upon the Happy Restauration" in John Crouch's collection of verses -- Census Poeticus (printed for the Author, by H. Brugis at the Red Lyon in New-Street, neer Fetter-Lane. 1663). 1 Although the evidence is finally inconclusive, of the two 1660 printings, the edition published by Daniell White, containing 346 lines {and an errata list}, is probably earlier than that by Thomas Bettertun, who published later poems by Crouch, containing 356 lines. 2 Bettertun's edition has been taken for copy text here. {In line with editorial policy, substantive variants affecting meaning have been reported from the White printing; I have also recorded corrections from the errata list and several corrected by hand in the C copy.}

    Since the Dedication acknowledges the existence of the commemorative volumes published by Oxford and Cambridge, Crouch's poem cannot have appeared before July.

    An inveterate scandal-monger, Crouch couldn't resist mixing his praise of the returning king with retrospective personal attacks on -- among others -- Cromwell, the journalist Marchamont Nedham, and the astrologer William Lilly. Much of what he says here about Cromwell and Nedham he had already said a decade earlier in issues of The Man in the Moon, his weekly newsletter that ran between April 1649 and June 1650 in which he set new standards in royalist vituperation and personal invective, effectively inventing the kind of news reporting familiar in modern tabloids. See Underdown, A Freeborn People: Politics and the Nation in Seventeenth-century England (Clarendon, 1996).

    According to Lois Potter, Crouch's family lived in the Smithfield area where they were associated with popular ballad printing and "scurrilous `low' royalist propaganda" (Potter, p. 15). John Crouch appears engaged in anti-government publications from 1647-1650 both as author and publisher. Despite concerted parliamentary attempts to supress them, the group associated with these newsbooks survived, falling relatively quiet during the trial and execution of Charles I, to re-emerge in April 1649 with a new version of Mercurius Pragmaticus subtitled "For King Charls II." That month The Man in the Moon -- "the most violent of the royalist Mercuries" (Potter, p. 18) -- began appearing, in which Crouch turned from criticizing government policies to attacking people in terms of their personal -- usually sexual -- habits. Using the same alias, Crouch issued several occasional pamphlets containing pointed and scurrilous libels, 3 that doubtless helped inspire the Printing Ordinance of September 1649 which set out to silence the clandestine press. Within days of the Ordinance passing, Crouch writes:

The uncontroulable, almighty, and everlasting Commons, have out of their great Care for the good of the Commonwealth, passed an Act for Regulating Printing, and punishing all such as Write, Print, Publish, or Disperse, Scandalous and Unlicensed Books; Laying great Penalties on the Offenders. A sad story my Lord; but now I think on't, must not Walkers Occurences 4 and the Ly-urnals cease by this Act? Who the Devil has the Authority to license them: I deny the Juncto or any of their spawn to have the least Authority to License so much as a ballad to the tune of King Thomas ye cannot; and therefore I the Man in the Moon (mark what I say) can shew lawful Authority (Cum Privilegio & permissi Superiorum) to Write, Print, Publish, and Disperse in the World, all the Knaveries Committed under the Sun, whether in Juncto, Councell of State, Army, City, or Country; and to this I can (if I please) shew my Imprimatur. 5
Despite this Ordinance, The Man in the Moon itself carried on weekly publication until June 1650. 6

    Like other royalist newsbooks, issues of The Man in the Moon typically begin with a prefatory set of quatrains in doggerel, but another of Crouch's innovations was to intersperse prose passages with short sets of verse in pentameter, the form adopted for his Restoration panegyric. Evidently Crouch thought that his views on current affairs and those involved in them deserved the serious consideration owed to neoclassical forms. Although the Dedication of A Mixt Poem suggests this might be his first public appearance as a poet, Crouch's name appears on a few earlier publications in pentameters. Signed "John Crowch," A Congratulation In Honour of the Annual Festival of the Lords, Knights, Esq; and Yeomandry [sic] of the County of Hertford, at Merchant Taylors Hall, on Thursday Sept. 6. 1655, is a commemorative broadsheet that claims its author is originally from Hertfordshire. It illustrates a different, though complementary, side of Crouch's literary ambition from his impulse to libel, one that he would be able to indulge following the Restoration: that of grovelling before civic notables, aristocrats, and members of the royal family. "I hope you cannot think," he writes, "that there can be / In me (dear SIRS!) the seeds of flattery," but it is hard to imagine anyone would have thought otherwise.

    Crouch's other pre-Restoration verses in iambic pentamenters are both shrewd attempts to ingratiate himself with Francis Talbot, eleventh Earl of Shrewsbury; an elegy on the nobleman's first wife appeared in 1657, 7 followed the next year by an epithalamium, The Muses Joy, on his subsequent marriage to the notorious Anna Maria, daughter of Robert, Lord Brudenell. 8 The wedding poem, like his panegyric to Charles, is portentiously signed "J. C. Gent," a characteristic bit of self-promotion implying that the author is of a social rank too exalted to sign a printed poem. Here, as in his newsbooks, Crouch stuck to his principle that partisan bias and self interest should always take precedence over the truth, for "the Vertuous Lady Anne Brudnel" named on the titlepage had been engaged in a well known scandalous affair with George Villiers, second Duke of Buckingham, since 1654. {cf: poem transcribed as file: crouch.ep} Crouch dedicated his epithalamium "To the Virtuous and Right honorable Anna-Maria, Countess of Shrewsbury," writing:

... although I never had the honor to be related to those noble Families the Shrewsburies and Brudenals (now in a happy conjunction) yet when I hear the high Expressions of both from a Brother and a Sister, I cannot be unconcern'd in their debt of duty, or passive in their transportations: [sig A2] but as I am warm'd, so I must admire by reflection. This (the greater her presumption) is my Muses second Service to your Ladyship; though yet she never brought an Embassy of ill news, never put your fair eyes to the expense of one pearl. Before she solemniz'd your auspicuous Nuptials: perhaps the dress of that Poem might, the subject could not be troublesom, which was so pleasing to your Ladyship. At this time my Muse celebrates the new espousals of a Royal Widdow to her Crown, I wish I could say to her King. Now though your ladyship be entertain'd in the Porch, the Dedication of this Poem; yet the fabrick, namely the Subject, is part of her Majesties Revenue; unto whom I need no nearer Access than your Ladyship your person being as near the Queen as her shadow to her Body, or rather as her Body to her Head; joyn'd not onely bu propinquity, but by influence also. And now, Madam, I have unbosom'd my whole design, which is, that the world by me, and her Majesty by you may know, how much I am her Majesties loyal Subject, and
Your Ladyships humblest Servant,
JO. CROUCH. (sig A2v)
The wedding took place on 10 January 1659. Their son, Charles Talbot, born in July 1660, was named after the king and was the first of the royal godchildren after the Restoration. But Anna Maria continued her affair with Buckingham, leading to a duel that "cost her husband his life" (DNB) when he died of a wound in 1668. {see Pepys, Evelyn}. His brother, Gilbert Crouch, was serving as agent to the Earl of Shrewsbury in 1666 (CSPD 1666-67, p. 422).

    With the return of the Stuarts, Crouch sought opportunities to ingratiate himself with the new powers by addressing pentameter verses to various members of the royal family. The Muses Tears For the Loss of the Illustrious Prince Henry Duke of Gloucester 9 and The Muses Joy For the Recovery of that weeping Vine, Henretta Maria, The most Illustrious Queen-Mother, and her Royal Branches 10 both appeared during 1660, soon to be followed by a poem on Charles's coronation. 11 He was quite unashamed about grovelling in public. "And now, Madam," he ends his dedication to the Countess of Shrewsbury prefaced to The Muses Joy, "I have unbosom'd my whole design, which is, that the world by me, and her Majesty by you may know, how much I am her majesties loyal Subject, and Your Ladyships humblest Servant" (sig. A2v). Crouch's poems addressing the royal oak and Charles's marriage to Catharine of Braganza appeared in 1662. 12 These were followed in 1665 by poetic attacks on England's major trading competitors, the Dutch 13 . The next year he published poems lamenting the plague, 14 and the great fire of London. 15 Crouch also published heroic elegies on Andrew Rutherford, Earl of Tiveot (1664), 16 Henry Pierrpont, the Marquis of Dorchester (1680) 17 , and Thomas Butler, the Earl of Ossory (1680). 18

   A Mixt Poem, nonetheless, was his first direct address to a member of the royal family using the heroic couplet, a fact that did not prevent him from indulging his aptitude for personal invective while directly alluding to his own loyalist past efforts in The Man in the Moon.

[1] .úúThe only copy is at C=Peterborough Q.2.23. The full title reads: A / POEM / UPON THE / Happy Restauration and Return of his / Sacred MAJESTY / CHARLES II. / AND HIS / Illustrious Brothers, the Dukes of YORK and GLOCESTER. / With Honourable Reflections upon some State-mar-/ tyrs, and the Renowned General. / Not forgetting the RUMP and its Appurtenances.

[2] .úúSee my "What is a Restoration Poem? Editing a Discourse, Not an Author," in Text 3, ed. David Greetham and W. Speed Hill (New York: AMS, 1987): 319-46 which outlines as possible rationale for preferring the White text and reproduces the titlepages.

[3] See, for instance, New Bartholomew Fayrings: Presented to several Members of the Juncto and Councell of State, by The Man in the Moon (London, Printed for the Good of the State, Anno Dom. 1649) which is a series of "fayrings" or gifts suited to Bradshaw, Fairfax, Cromwell, Ireton and their wives: eg "I give unto Thom-Asse Lord Fairfax a Rattle, that it may serve him for a Scepter . . . And to that Chaste and Honest lady his Wife, I give a Dil-doe of the largest size, that in the absence of Mr Gorge, she may for the Recreation of her Spirit, scour her dull Tannikin, and make it plyable for another impression" (p. 4); "I give unto Colonel Pride (for my Dogs sake) who saies he begate him, the Knowledge of his Father, hid to this day" (p. 5); "I give to Jeroboams Calves (I mean the Presbyterian Clergy) a Book called, The Hypocrite Unmasked" (p. 6). NB "Tannikin" in OED is given as pet-name for Anna; not otherwise noticed.

[4] Henry Walker was a pro-parliament journalist whose Perfect Occurences of Parliament appeared regularly from 1644 until October 1649, when it was replaced by Perfect Passages of every daies Intelligence. He was singled out for attack as early as 1647 by the anonymous author of A Fresh Whip for all scandalous Lyers (Wing F2199; cited Raymond, p. 14).

[5] Man in the Moon No. 23 (19-26 September 1649), p. 188.

[6] The last issue seems to have been No. 57 for 29 May to 5 June. In No. 31 for 21-28 November 1649, however, Crouch complains of having been betrayed by "Doe a knavish Bookebinder, who basely for gaine, betrayed me to Mr. Hunscot, a Beadle to the Companie of Stationers" and of having his goods seized from "neere Stepney" (p. 245).

[7] An elegie, Upon the Death of . . . Anne, Countesse of Shrewsbury (1657; STC C7295) exists only in a MH unicum. Anne Conyers was daughter of Sir John Conyers of Sockburne; Arthur Collins, The Peerage of England 3rd ed, 2 vols (London, 1714), 1: 95.

[8] An Epithalamium Upon the Auspicious Nuptials Of the Right Honorable the Earl fo Shrewsbury, And the Vertuous Lady Anne Brudnel (1658; STC C55) survives only at O=Pamph. C.109(4).

[9] "Printed for the Author; 1660." STC C7303. )=Tanner 744(25).

[10] "Printed for Tho. Batterton, Anno, 1660." STC C 7301A. Thomason dated his copy of The Muses Joy on 23 November l660 (Printed for Thomas "Batterton"; LT E. 1050(3)); it was reprinted in 1661; STC 7302.

[11] To His Sacred Majestie: Loyall Reflections, Upon his Glorious Restauration, Procession and Coronation; Not forgetting the Royall Oake ([np, nd], C unicum at shelfmark SEL.3.162.9; STC C7305).

[12] Ai draiades: A poem or fancy upon. . . the royal oke (for S. Gape, 1662; STC C7292A), Flowers strowed by the Muses . . . Catharine Queen of England (1662; STC C7288), Portuguella in portu (1662; STC C7303A).

[13] See Belgia caracterstica, or the Dutch Character (1665; STC C7291), and The Dutch imbergo which was issued twice (1665; STC C7293 and STC C7294).

[14] Potirion glixupkron. London's Bitter-Sweet-Cup of Tears For Her Late Visitation: and Joy, For The Kings Return. With a Complement (in the close) to France (for Thomas Palmer, at the Crown in Westminster-Hall. 1666). O=Pamph, D 123(7),

[15] Londinenses Lachrym'; Londons Second Tears mingled with her Ashes (for T. Palmer at the Crown in Westminster-Hall, 1666) 0=Gough London 45; Gough London 163(4).

[16] An Elegie Upon the much lamented Death of that Noble, and Valiant Commander; the Right honourable the Earl of Tiveot, Governour of Tangiers. Slain by the Moors (for Tho. Palmer, 1664; STC C7297). O=Wood 429(21)

[17] An Elegy Upon the Marquess of Dorchester, and Earl of Kingston ([1680]; STC C7296) is signed "Jo. Crouch, once his Domestick Servant." O=Wood 429.

[18]An elegie. . . Earl of Ossory (1680; STC C7297A).


[ornamental header] 19
To his most Beloved Brother Captain
Gilbert Crouch.

Good Brother, 20

   IT hath ever been the Ambition of Writers to climb as high as they can to an Honourable Patronage, even to Heaven it self, if the Nobility of the subject might authorize the Presumption; Now Poets rankt (especially by the more earthly 21 part of the World) amongst the most airy of Pen-men, are priviledg'd by common Opinion to soar up with the Highest: But my present Obligations 22 instruct me to the contrary. As Loyalty was the Muse inspir'd this Poem, so Love shall appoint the Dedication. Though my weak Muse hath sometimes borrowed the expeditious Aids of the Presse, yet not till now appeared in publick: As she never knew the triumphs of Fame, so she never felt the blushes of Dishonour, was never injurious to any person but her self. But in this subject, Secrecy had been a kind of Combination, Privacy a privative Treason; so ill do clandestine joyes become an universal Jubilee, That I come behind in the rear of our Poetique 23 Forces, must be imputed to some unkind contingencies; 24 my thoughts being conceived with the first, 25 but by some misprisions met with hard labour from the midwifry 26 of the Press. Neverthelesse, it will be honour enough for me, if I may have leave 27 to wait upon (as their obsequious shadows) the heroick poems 28 of those 3. 29 Seraphims, Waller, Cowley, & Lluellin, whose sudden march Alarum'd both Universities. 30 Mine, if they come not too early, will come soon enough to blush. But in earnest I must thank the Presse for a second benefit, besides the manifestation of my Allegiance, that it furnisheth me with a kind occasion of acknowledging unto the ungrateful world even in Print, the many kindnesses I have received from so good a Brother. In fine, You, whose Heart and Sword, so long maintain'd the Royal Cause, are obliged to protect the Heraulds of it. Accept therefore Good Brother, (which compellation I prefer before all Titles) accept of this Poem (whose onely merit is its Subject) as a mark of Loyalty to my Prince, and as a Token of my Love to your self, from

Your most Affectionate Brother
John Crouch.

[19] in O

[20] .úúGood Brother] L; Good Brother, Good Brother O

[21] earthly] L; earthy O

[22] Obligations] L; obligations O

[23] Poetique] L; Poetick O

[24] must be imputed to some unkind contingencies] L; will I hope be imputed partly to my modesty O

[25] my thoughts being conceived with the first,] L; my Muse which never had been before in the open Sun-Shine, was too weak sighted to break the way: partly to unkind contingencies, her thoughts being conceived with the first; O

[26] midwifry] L; midwife O

[27] have leave] L; Live O

[28] heroick poems] L; Heroick piens O

[29] 3.] L; three O

[30] Poems by these three were, indeed, among the first to appear; Thomason dated his copies, respectively, 9 June, 31 May, and 24 May. He dated the Oxford volume 7 July and the Cambridge volume 10 July.

[31] .úúThe letter to Gilbert Crouch is omitted from Census Poeticus.

[ornamental header in O]
Upon the happy Return of his Sacred Ma-
jesty CHARLES the Second, &c.

HAil, Second Charls, who (Our bless'd Phoenix) came
From the spic'd Ashes of a Martyr's name,
Welcome (Great Soul!) sent to revive the Dead;
Heavens Plant! nurs'd up to graft a Monarch's Head.

5: Stop here, and bleed my Muse -- O Cursed Ax!
Made victim'd Majesty, pay three Kingdomes Tax.
Mount, mount, my Soul, Mount to another sphere,
Leave my dead Trunk a Mourning Statue here.
Death's service is too slight, 'twill 32 not suffice;
Our Altars ask a living Sacrifice:
If piles of slaughter'd souls could have appeas'd
Incensed Heaven, we long since had been eas'd.

Charls, and three Kingdomes Life at once return,
And chill the Ashes of that Royal Urn;
15: The Sun at the Meridian height appears,
Drinks up the Tribute of his Fathers Tears.

Bow, Bow, my Muse, after so long a dearth
Of Loyalty, adore, and kisse the Earth,
Long cold, but since the Loyal Spring begun
Warm'd with Reflections from the Brittish Sun.
Then rise and snatch, O snatch those orient Rayes!
Twine them 33 about thy Brows instead of Bayes:
Those Beams which Majesty for lustre weares; 34
I must turn Indian Priest, and Worship here. 35
25: I'm rapt above the Moon, but must not stick
So Low, and Sun-burnt, and not Lunatick.
Sweat, sweat, Star-Gazers till your Hearts grow pale,
You that for Lucre set the Heavens to sale.
Hang thy self Lilly in thy Northern Chain,
Thy darling Swede must dye, and Charls must Reign: 36
Thou, whose pr'dictions animated strife,
Go now (sad wretch) speak truths to save thy life.
The Bells 37 'i th' Strand was crackt, it now appears,
When they 38 rung No King for a hundred years. 39 40

35: Fly Needham, thou ingenious Devil, fly,
Gall'd with the late Kings hellish Hue and Cry; 41
Before the Rope, 42 for thy last comfort, look
On Interest will not lie, 43 that Dooms-day book;
Where thou, with a malicious Ravens pen,
Describing our Black Prince (the best of men)
Mads't a false parallel 'twixt the 44 Soul and Face,
Better skill'd in complexions, than 45 in grace. 46
Whose two Diurnals weekly did disperse 47
Venome and Rancour through the Universe;
45: Which stufft with Mischiefs, Flatterries, and Lies, chk
Poyson'd all, but the Antidoted wise.
Who, when thy treasons wanted their pretence,
Kindly bestowdst them upon Providence:
Serv'dst every Interest, though with partiall odds,
Didst worship two Protectors, thy two Gods. 48
Go black-mouth'd Cereberus, 49 bark aloud and cry, 50
'Tis Conscience will not, (Interest may lie)
Tremble proud France, which barbarously sent
Our King the second time to banishment;
55: Be wise in time, and pawn thy Flower de luce,
To purchase, not a full peace, but a truce;
For our Queen's sake, perhaps we may be led
To give your Crown back for your Card'nals head: chk L
That Machivilian Cap, who to advance
His private int'rest more then that of France,
Hir'd our Grand Rebell, who for his full pay,
He sent for Gold to Hispaniola.
The grateful States-man could no lesse dispense
Than the whole Indies, for a Recompence;
65: Cromwell's ambition would accept no lesse,
Than an Exchequer might be bottomlesse.
I cannot blame that Tyrant of Renown,
Who wanted Love, and Gold, to make his Crown.

Bring the Turks Crescent to its lowest Wain,
Onely be good and kind to civil Spain;
Prompted by Heaven t'espouse the Stuarts Right,
Spain save thy Portugall and Indies by't.
France shall no more raise with a jealous shrugg
The Spanish Faction for the English Bugg;
75: Nor shall our apish folly more advance
The Vanities, and Antick Modes of France;
We'l leave thee to thy fears, and cold despair,
Not to be heightned by thy purest Air.
Though we are Protestants, we shall not stick
To own the Spaniard, The King Catholick:
But call thy Red-cap Devil, or worse man,
And scarce believe his King a Christian.
Quake at your late Auxiliaries advance;
Remember England has a King of France.
85: But where is Crumwell, once so gay and brave,
Thief of three Kingdoms, now not worth a Grave?
Where's that prodigious Camell, 51 whose strong back
Carried three Nations Treasure for it's Pack:
That Crocodile, 52 that Murtherer of Souls,
The Whale that shov'd men out o'th' World by shoals.
Whose rage spar'd no degree, no sex, whose 53 pride,
Would nothing that oppos'd it, abide.

Ask poor Tredah 54 the number of her slain,
Whose streets had only silence to complain:
95: Where piles, on piles of dead, wide breaches fill'd,
Which cool blood butcher'd, and wild fury kill'd.
One person (he a 55 Priest) 56 the storm did passe,
To tell how kind the Sacrificer was.
Read Worsters story, and you'l read the sence
Of Crumwels malice, and Heavens providence,
To what a low Ebb had he brought our state,
When one 57 weak Woman stood 'twixt Charls & fate.
O may she never lose her Glorious name,
Unlesse it be t'advance her House and Fame.

105: But they seem few, which horrid war distroy'd,
The Sword of Justice too, must be his Bawd;
A Court's dress'd up in Scarlet, that the place
May shew the colour of his Heart and Face. 58
Three Kingdomes Head, upon the Block must lye,
To give proud Bradshaw's Robes a second dye.
May courteous time his name and memory rot,
May the unmatcht example be forgot:
If the day must be own'd; O let it come,
To consecrate the good Kings Martyrdome.
115: Vultures kill Doves, the blood of Innocence spilt,
A Kings pure blood, by th'impure hands of guilt:
As if that black Crime by design had meant
To give th'out-vy'd world a new President. 59

Hambleton, Holland, Capel (three Peers fall)
To make one Breakfast for this Caniball.
Capel, who dying shew'd to crown his merit,
A Roman Courge, and a Christian Spirit. chk
But when gret Derby fell, Crumwell began
T'uncrown the King first in the Isle of Man.
125: Derby, that Regal Lord, whose Loyal Head
Deserv'd a Coronet of Gold, not Lead.
Shrewsbury must cape, by a Divine reprieve, chk
So mortall 'twas to love the King and live.
All are not mark'd for Sacrifices, some
Heaven rates above a Civil Martyrdome.
But the Fiends Altar is not fatted yet,
Till two 60 Priests sacred blood besprinkle it,
Penruddock, 61 Slingsby, many more must go,
To enlarge the book of Martyr's Folio.
135: For all this Cromwel breathes securely, hath
His beds of Roses, and his milky path,
Treads air, and Pinacles; thus Cedar-tall,
He knows no Earth, on which to stand, or fall. 62
Now Parliaments are summon'd, but in vain,
Wise Cato's all, come in, go out again.

O strange Vicissitude 63 of Earthly things!
Crowns, Scepters, Thrones, more mortall than their Kings,
Oft dye before 'um, as if to be High,
Were to be chang'd, we rise, we fall, we dye.
145: Yet Height is no impulsive cause of ill,
We might sit high, and safe, could we sit still:
But we must move Excentrick, cannot see
We tread the Globe of mutability.
Honour is that great Boon the Gods bestow,
Their Image stampt on mortals here below:
And makes them shine like Gods on Earth, till they
Poorly their Honours to their ends betray.
Now Vice Vertues white Herauldry must stain,
Honour contemn'd, is mixt with earth 64 again
155: Thus is our Ruine measur'd by our Rise,
And Greatnesse brings the greater Precipice.
Now are the old Peers into corners thrust,
Their titles mingled with the Nations dust;
What were those Starres, when this black night begun,
Borrowing their beams from that late Man i'th' Moon?
Now noble Stars, but Sunlesse had not light
To view themselves, much less t'adorn their Night:
The Heraulds office all imploy'd, to bring
Crumwels Descent down from some Brittish King.

165: But fate prevents his pride, the Prince oth' Aire
With one good Whirlwind cures our long despair;
He that had rais'd such Earth-quakes in his Life,
Could not depart without the Elements strife,
Trees twisted up by'th roots, and tossed high,
Sent by the winds to brush th'infected Sky. 65
Thus, thus, the proud Leviathan was hurld
With Curses, and black tempests out oth' world.

And now his grateful Vassalls when he's dead,
Put a rich Crown upon his uselesse head,
175: And so ingeniously their Mock-Prince deride,
Emblematizing why the poor man dy'd:
Who with one one impious gripe three Kingdomes got, chk
Alas, all King, except his Name and Hat.
Great Cromwell's gone, now Rome may live in hope,
Let's sing Te Deum for the rescued Pope.

But Richard, spurr'd on by ambitious friends,
In peace the Protectorian Throne ascends,
With spread arms graspt the Chair, but could not reach,
He was too small (god wot) to fill the breach. chk
185: They that so near the blessings of a Crown
Had brought the Old Sire, pulls the Filly down
Poor Squire, I pitty thy unkind advance,
Left heir to Mercy, thy Inheritance,
This Mercy too had far more easie been,
Had'st not possest thy Fathers Seat and Sin,
The seat of Scorners (our Protector call'd)
And from that Seat by thy own Vassals hal'd.

But who knows what this civil Gentleman meant?
Some say he sufferd for this good Intent;
195: Though he the Scepter sway'd, & some months stood,
He kept his hands white, dipt them not in blood:
Pull'd down the Scarlet Court; good Heavens for this
May he gain pardon, and the Kings hand kiss.

Now the restor'd Rump, Jehu-like drives on,
Scornes all Protectors, either God, or man;
Neither confirm their Creatures, nor quite fail,
Hold the Fanaticks in an even scale.
Project on Project, Tax on Tax they raise,
Never had England such improving dayes:
205: For now our pious Governours, well advis'd,
Turn'd Jews, and our Obedience circumcis'd.
Baptists and Quakers our sole Princes sway,
Scarce one Religious man left to obey.
The Orthodox to Conventicles take,
While bold Fanaticks the 66 Church Visible make;
Who neither Anthems sing, nor Chapters read,
All inspir'd as the worm crawles in their Head.
Now, now the Steeples in sad tremblings were,
Some with old Age and Ruine, most with fear.
215: Doutbtlesse good luck preserv'd the merry Bells,
To ring in good time the Fanaticks Knells.
But see how naturall tis for one to raign,
Lambert for Lambert; Booth for King again:
No sooner blaz'd a Comet from the East,
When with faint beams, The Sun declin'd i'th' West;
Without dispute the Almighty One then meant
To do his work by a single Instrument. 67
Lambert, proud of a Vict'ry without Fight,
Rears his hopes to a Protectorian height:
225: The Army gather into mutinous Heards,
March up, and pluck their Masters by the Beards.
The Rump turns backwards on a fatall broach,68
Rise and do reverence to the Swords approach;
But Lambert, spight of Countrey, Rump and City,
Winds up three Nations into One Committee,
Ycleped Safety; but event ere long,
Declar'd the Bastard Child was Christn'd wrong.
The Common-wealth is to be Minted new,
But what the stamp should be no Conjurer knew
235: O Architects than Babell's more unskill'd!
Strange Platonists, without Idea's build

Mean time new Workmen from the Scottish Land,
Prepares themselves, with sharp tools in their hand: chk
Out of 69 the frozen pole starts a good Swain,
Rigs up, and wheels Charles long dismounted Wain;
The Lambertonians shrink, refuse to Move,
Encourag'd by apostate friends Above;
Who for a little Coyn, and lesse applause,
Leave their Lieutenant, and the Good old Cause.

245: Now the Rump rules the Roast again i'th' East,
Serv'd up to Usher in a second Feast;
Up marches George undaunted, though he find
Armies before him, Armies left behind;
Through all the awakened Counties as he went,
The loud Aire Ecchoes, A Free Parliament.
The people from all parts like Snow-balls rowl,
Love and praise Monck as if they knew his Soul.
No person of a King one word durst start,
He still sleeps safe in every Loyal Heart.
255: Monk climbes to London, where he found (fame saith)
His Masters half perswaded of his Faith.
They vote their Gold to th'Touch-stone, and (O Fates!)
Send him commands to unhinge the City Gates.
But the Sagacious Generall smells their Ends,
(To make him odious) hastens to his Friends.
Triumphant London her proud Joyes expresses
In Acclamations, Shouts, and frank Caresses:
The Rump now fly-blown, quit their seats, but thence
Shall not be forc'd by Sword or Violence:
265: But as the Hammer makes Naile strike out Naile,
So the Secluded Head thrusts out the Taile.

Now, not till now the wise Mysterious Monk
Whispers with Charls from his oraculous Trunk;
The Generall had (with Reverence I infer)
Onely the King his Privy Counceller.
O Secrecy, the Midwife of Designes!
Betray'st not, but bring'st forth thy Golden Mines,
Wrought, and sublim'd by Industry and Art:
Charls owes much to Monks Head, more to his Heart.
275: Had either Fear or Joy this silence broke,
Perhaps the Thing it self had never spoke chk
England had long ador'd a George in paint,
That was the Picture, but this George the Saint:
God acts with the same Methods he begun,
We had the shadow first, and then the Sun.

Secluded Members Act, Vote their consent
For the just freedom of a Parliament.
They rise, when forthwith from their burdned Hives,
Ripe Bees swarm out, all prodigall of their Lives:
285: The bells to their new Hive these clusters Ring,
Where with one humming Vote they call their King.

Great Charls's call'd home, not manacl'd, nor chain'd,
But to the height of his just power maintain'd:
Monk was not so much Presbyter to bring
A Royall Captive home, instead of King,
That he himself might his return deplore,
As made more Exile than 70 he was before.

Charls is proclaim'd with all Imperial Dues,
Whilst every hollowing Street sends Heaven the news.
295: Such Flames into the aire proud Bonfires sent,
Threatned to change the Cognate Element.
Event, by truth, false Prophets does 72 beguile,
London was (and yet stands) one burning pile:
No sooty Pyramids of smoak aspire,
Th' whole City is one 73 Elementall fire:
Shouts damp all sounds, the Air opprest with throngs,
The next great Pest must be Decay of Lungs.
The active 74 fire-works sing'd 75 the Moons bright horns, chk
The Man had much ado to save his Thorns; 76
305: Light speaks the Sun, Expression Souls; O then!
What Joy 77 , what Bonfires in the Hearts 78 of Men.
Clip, clip your Wings, my Joyes, 79 soar not too high, chk
Least you unfit me for humility;
May the just Adoration of a Crown
Humble my joyes, and weigh, my Raptures down.
Great Charles, brought upon Angels wings appears,
The long despair, of pray'rs, of sighs, of tears,
Welcome three Kingdomes Love, methinks all three
Now in my hearts triangle panting be.
315: Welcome three Brothers, and three Kingdomes Joyes,
One Mighty Monarch, and two Great Vice-Royes,
Welcome blest Prince, sent in a needfull 80 hower, chk
Whom Heav'n restor'd to shew its slighted power;
O may your Reign bring back the Age of Gold
May Love's soft hand your Sword and Scepter hold:
Some say the Heavens, some say the Earth do move,
But sure both Globes turn on the poles of Love.

O that the whole worlds pride sat on my knee,
It all should bend to your Dread Majesty:
325: Since lowest things durst brave your Empire, now,
All heights and Pyramids under Heav'n shall bow.

All hearts are pleas'd, except such hearts as prove
Gall-drencht, not born to be belov'd or love;
The City now long squeez'd and wire-drawn, made
The Citadel, and Mart of Europe-trade: chk
The Ship-wrackt Merchants in full Change resort,
Conceive both Indies brought home with the Court.
For ever, London, shut thy Heart and Hands
Against all factious and rebellious Bands:
335: 'Twas time to King it, when thy purse and fame
Lore'd 81 to th'Imperious Bank of Amsterdam,
The Countrey has reapt a liberall crop of all
Their hopes, fancy their Garners in Whitehall.
The Loyall Rusticks scarce a Psalm will sing,
Unlesse each Stanza chaunt the name of King.
The chastest Virgins unespous'd, unwo'd,
Feel Thoes of joy, and think themselves bestow'd:
Law and Religion (sick twins) gasping lay,
Now that protects this, while for both she pray.
345: The Muses (O Heavens) in their sackcloth slain!
Are by three Graces brought to life again.
Burdens are balms; tax now, Sir, for your good,
Not our Estates, but Lives; not Coyns 82 but Blood:
Blest Halcyon dayes! if any thing annoyes
Your Kingdomes now, 'tis that you kill with Joyes,
Your Return had made three Realms one 83 Sacrifice,
Had not their guilt allay'd their Extasies.
Monarch of Hearts, the summe of Heavens Expence,
Heir by Succession, King by Providence;
355: Heaven Crown your Wisdom, which has quencht our Warrs,
Not by subduing Rebels but the Starrs.


[32] 'twill] L; will O

[33] them] L; then O

[34]weares] ed; weare L, O

[35] A crude literalism, since Charles arrived from the east.

[36] In Monarchy or No Monarchy in England (1651) and in subsquent writings, William Lilly had continually favoured king Charles Gustavus of Sweden as the lion of the north, the "Charles son of Charles," who Grebner's prphecy has promised would arise and conquer catholic Spain (see Howell file). In 1659, the Swedish king sent Lilly a golden chain after the astrologer had published complimentary nativities in his almanacs for 1657 and 1658; DNB.

[37] Bells] L; Bell O

[38] they] L; it O

[39]Mr. Lilly at the five Bells in the Strand, before several persons, proved by his Astrologie that there should be no King in England for an hundred years.

[40] the five Bells] L; the Bell O

[41] In 1645, nine months before Charles I escaped from Oxford, Marchamont Nedham included a spoof Hue and Cry after the king in Mercurius Britanicus No. 92 (28 July-4 August) for which he and Thomas Audley, the original editor of Britanicus, were punished by parliament. "This satire was remembered for decades. Whenever anyone attacked Nedham for a specific incident, it was usually this to which they referred. It was easily Britanicus' most notorious act, and was recalled with more bitterness than the subsequent offence for which Nedham was debarred from writing," Joad Raymond, "The Daily Muse," p. 214.n33. See also John Cleveland's "Britanicus his leap three-story high, and his Escape from London" in Poems (1687), p. 247.

[42] Before the Rope] L; Ransack thy brest O.
"Those that contend to write against their King, / Should in their Lines learn first the Art to swing," wrote Crouch in October 1649, The Man in the Moon #26, pp. 217-18; cited Raymond, The Invention of the Newspaper (1996), p. 74. Among numerous calls for Nedham to be hanged, see Roger L'Estrange, A Rope for Pol; or, A Hue and Cry after Marchemont Nedham. The late Scurrulous News-writer. Being a Collection of his Blasphemies and Revilings against the King's Majesty, his Person, his Cause, and his Friends; published in his weekly Politicus (7 Sept. 1660; LT E.1043[10]); and note to lines 49-51 below.

[43] .úúInterest will not lie -- this celebrated controversy began with John Fell's -- later Bishop of Oxford -- The Interest of England stated; or, A Faithful and just Account of the Aims of the parties now pretending [LT E.763.(4)] which appeared in July 1659 and advocated a return to monarchy. Nedham replied in his Interest will not Lie; Or, A View of England's True interest. In refutation of a pamphlet entitutled The Interest of England Stated which appeared on August 17 [LT E.763(5)] and proved that a restoration of monarchy was contrary to the interests of eveyone except the Catholics. It was followed by John Rogers's Diapoliteia. A Christian Concertation with Mr. Prin, Mr. Baxter, Mr. Harrington for the True Cause of the Commonwealth. Or, an Answer to Mr. Prin's Perditory Anatomy of the Republic, to Mr. Baxter's Purgatory Pills for the Army, etc. on 20 September [LT E.995.(25)] and William Prynne's A Brief, Necessary Vindication of the Old and New Secluded Members from the false calumnies of John Rogers in his Un-Christian Concertation with Mr. Prynne, and of M. Nedham in his Interest will not Lie which appeared in November [LT E.772.(2)].

[44] the] L; his O

[45] than] L; then O

[46] lines 39-42: Rather than Interest will not Lie, these line probably refer to Nedham's Hue and Cry, where he had insolently referred to Charles I's stammer, claiming the king had "a guilty Conscience, bloody Hands, a heart full of broken Vowes and protestations: If these marks be not sufficient, there is another in the mouth; for bid him speak and you will soon know him" Merc Brit No. 92 (28 July-4 Aug 1645), cited Raymond Making the News p. 348.

[47] "two Diurnals" presumably refers to the Publick Intelligencer and Mercurius Politicus which appeared on Monday and Thursday respectively between 1655 and 1659. Or it may refer to Mercurius Britanicus, which Nedham wrote from 1643 until 1645, and Mercurius Politicus (1650-1659), thereby ignoring his work on the Royalist newsletter Mercurius Pragmaticus (1647-1649), though line 49 implicitly concedes Nedham's Royalist journalism.

[48] While conceding that Nedham wrote on behalf of the Royalist cause in his Mercurius Pragmaticus from 1647-1649, Crouch nevertheless suggests that he was more sincere in his support of the protectorate. Compare Woods' account of Nedham in Athenae Oxoniensis, plagiarized from L'Estrange.

[49] Cereberus] L; Cerebus O

[50] Compare: "Thus with the times he turn'd, next turn I hope / Will up the Ladder be, and down the Rope," The Downfall of Mercurius Britannicus. Pragmaticus. Politicus. That three Headed Cerberus ("Printed in the year that the Saints are disappointed, 1660" (LT 669.f.24(56), O Wood 622(21); STC D2087)); Wood dated his copy April.

[51] See Vox Populi, Suprema Rex Caroli, line 19.

[52] Crocodile] L; Canniball O

[53] .úúwhose] L; where O


   .úú"Tredah," i.e. Tredagh or Drogheda, the scene of one of Cromwell's most brutal massacres of 3-11 September 1649. Clarendon comments: "though the govenor and some of the chief officers retired in disorder into a fort where they hoped to have made conditions, a panic fear so possessed the soldiers that they threw down their arms upon a general offer of quarter: so that the enemy entered the work without resistence, and put every man governor, officer, and solider, to the sword; and the whole army being entered the town, they executed all manner of cruelty, and put every man that related to the garrison, and all the citizens who were Irish, man, woman, and child, to the sword" Rebellion, xii.116.

   Crouch himself covered the seige in the pages of The Man in the Moon as it was taking place, though his reports were usually several weeks behind events. Shortly before the massacre, Crouch had confidently written: "Droheda is questionless in a good and firm Condition, and Prince Rupert there with 6000 Foot, and 2000 Horse, to entertain Cromwel if he should dare to be so foolhardy, as to attempt any Landing there, which is a thing impossible" (No. 18 [15 Aug to 23 Aug, 1649], p. 153). By the second half of September, Crouch was still holding out hope -- "Tredah still untaken; and like to be for ought I can understand..." and "Cromwel for certain hath made three several Attempts to storm Tredagh, and is beaten off with shame and loss. Marquess Ormond lying between Dublin and he, that he cannot stir" (No. 23 [19-26 Sept, 1649]), pp. 193, 194. By the second week of October, while admitting that Cromwell's forces had taken the town, he insists the victory was pyrrhic: "they tell us of the loss of about a hundred at the taking the Town, but not what they lost in their two fruitless Assaults before . . . their loss at the utmost were not above some three thousand, besides what are dead since of their wounds, that in all conscience they need not bragge, for they paid deer enough for that town" (No. 25 [10-17 Oct, 1649]), p. 207. A week later, Crouch had more news: "After these bloudy Monsters had Sacrificed in Tredagh, Men Womem and Children to their cursed Rage, yet could not take the White Tower, nor the Windmill-Mount, whereupon (my letter saith) That their Commanders (a thing odious so much as to e mentioned) got four of the Commanders Wives, and their sucking Infants, and placed them before them where they thought their Cannon should play mot, and finding they would not refrain shooting, Ravished them in the sight of their Husbands, and dlew their tender Infants; a Fact odious to God and man . . . Their barbarous Cruelty in that abhorid Act not to be parralell'd by any of the former Massacrees of the Irish, sparing neither Women nor Children but putting them all to the Sword: 3000 indeed they killed; but 2000 were Women and Children, and divers aged Persons that were not able to support themselves, muchless unable to Resist them." (No. 26 [17-24 October 1649]) p. 213.

    Did Gilbert Crouch fight there in the garrison of the Duke of Ormond?

[55] Dr. Bernard.

[56] .úúPresumably Nicholas Bernard who wrote the Life of Dr. James Ussher (1656) and engaged in controversy with Peter Heylin from 1656-69.

[57] Mris. Jane Lane.

[58] Compare line 41. Jokes about the size and red colour of Cromwell's nose were a staple of royalist satires.

[59] Lines 119-130 om O; instead:

Now Parliaments are summon'd, but in vain
Wise Cato's all, come in go out again.
Three Lords in one day, gently layd aside,
Offer'd as Victim's to Nol's bloody pride:

[60] D. Hewet, Love] L; om O

[61] Penruddock,] L; Love, Hewet, O

[62] lines 130-140 om O; see line 130 note above.

[63] O strange Vicissitude] L; But O Vicissitude O

[64] earth] L; Earth O

[65] The storms presaging Cromwell's death were a staple theme; see Marvell et al.

[66] .úúthe] L; thee O

[67] lines 219-222: Echoes of Marvell's First Anniversary here and elsewhere?

[68] .úúbroach] L; breach O corrected in errata.

[69] of] L; from O

[70] than] L; then O

[71] .úúdoes] L; do O corrected in errata.

[72] Th' whole City is one] L; The whole City on O

[73] throngs] L; thrungs O

[74] .úúactive] L; darling O corrected in errata to darting.

[75] .úúsing'd] ed; sinsg'd O !!!check

[76] Check the opening editorial to the first issue of The Man in the Moon, where Crouch makes much of the man wearing thorns: cf MND.

[77] .úúJoy] L, O; Joys CN corrected in ms.

[78] .úúHearts] L; Heart O; corrected in errata.

[79] .úúJoyes] L; Joy O; corrected in ms.Joyes CN copy???

[80] needfull] L; happy O

[81] Lore'd] L; Lord O

[82] Coyns] L Coyn O

[83] one] L; a O